Friday, July 07, 2006

He couldnt/cant/probably never:GET IT UP

Impotence affects millions of men. Although too often a hidden problem, it is estimated that at least one in 10 men over the age of 21 suffers from impotence.

Way back in the summer of 2002, I met this dude. A dark skinned, slightly mysterious and a tad bit chubby guy who we'll call Benjie (for privacy purposes).

Benjie has always been a popular guy. He had the looks, the charm and the acerbic wit to keep women at bay. He was a simple guy, nothing fancy here. He liked to smoke pot and was actually the first guy to teach me how to hit the pipe. I fell for him in less than 3 weeks!

Shortly thereafter we started making out, but he never ventured below the belt. He never really told me why though. Usually guys would go berserk.
I assumed he "respected" me. Although frankly I really didnt want him to. I havent had sex in a long time (that year).

I remember the first time I felt his semi-erect penis (or so I thought), he said that it was going to get bigger. I thought "Uh-huh. The thing is, it's short. I'm a penis connoisseur, dont you know?" but of course I didnt tell him that. I just giggled and crossed my fingers. I hoped for the best.

Anyway as days passed by I grew more adamant. What the hell is wrong with him? I didnt find it funny that he'd call me in the morning just to wake me, it wasnt romantic!

I decided to tell him my was something more like:

"It's like you buy this cd. Every day you listen to it,
day by day you grow more and more into liking it.
This is the same thing I feel around you.."

Yeah I know I should've been shot the moment I said those words, I can't really remember the exact words, verbatim, but you get the picture. He just sighed and said "You really expect much don't you?" I finally gave up on him and went on with my
life. After all, it was a simple case of my lowered expectations.

Then one day I got a call, it was his cousin. A weirdo named..hmm I forgot. He was actually giving away my number to his cousin. He wanted to set me up with his geek cousin who wanted to discuss every detail of his ex-girlfriend's life to me! The nerve of that stupid fat fuck Benjie!

One thing for sure, his cousin told me Benjie already has a girlfriend. It wasnt even 3 weeks after we started ignorning each other. Oh well, I felt pretty depressed for a time after that, and eventually I found someone else (but that's another story).

Well, two weeks ago one of Benjie's old buddies, Kenneth, came back from abroad. Incidentally this dude was shagging one of my friends. We were at this house party when I casually told him I dated Benjie but we didnt have sex (I said it just like that, which raised 5 pairs of eyebrows-hell, I was drunk) to which he said "That doesn't surprise me, he can't get it up."

What!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!! (he was only 22 when I was dating him.)

According to Ken, Benjie used to rely on viagra when he was like 15 or 16 years old. He was casually flashing around the little blue pill to his friends, all of which rolled their eyes and whispered "What the fuck? We dont need that!"

This blog entry is dedicated to you Benjie. Thanks for making me feel inadequate when we were dating. You were too fat, ugly, pathetic and worst of all TOO FUCKING FLACCID to admit that it was your own fault rather than make me feel it was mine. Good luck when you're 50!